Author Topic: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here  (Read 131414 times)

flyinghouse

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I'll start with a quick one, chosen just because I couldn't have gotten away with this one on the other forum:

Q. Have you heard about Kentucky-Freud Chicken?
A.  It's mother-fucking good!

Dandiman

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2012, 07:15:34 PM »
Caution:  Link contains profanity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg

Dandiman

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2012, 07:20:00 PM »
I'll start with a quick one, chosen just because I couldn't have gotten away with this one on the other forum:

Q. Have you heard about Kentucky-Freud Chicken?
A.  It's mother-fucking good!

OMG LOL

Well, you've not lived until you've had a 100.00 an hour shrink tell you that you have a reverse Oedipus Complex.  What that means is that you've had enough therapy because now they're starting to make shit up.

Dandiman

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2012, 07:56:07 PM »
A priest, a minister and a rabbi were at lunch discussing their collections. 

The priest said, I draw a circle on the ground and toss all the money from the offerings up into the air.  What lands outside of the circle is what the church gives to do the Lord's work.

The minister said, I too draw a circle on the ground and throw all the collections up into the air.  What lands inside of the circle is what our church gives to do the Lord's work.

The rabbi said, This is amazing!  I also draw a circle on the ground and toss all the money up into the air, and whatever the Lord can catch, he can keep.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/109925/saturday-night-live-sandler-update-song

« Last Edit: March 28, 2012, 08:43:00 PM by Dandiman »


flyinghouse

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2012, 05:00:40 PM »
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..."  A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

flyinghouse

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2012, 01:26:38 PM »
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, BINGO!



veinard

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2012, 04:18:31 PM »
For sale : one white lace wedding dress, size 8 worn once by mistake.  ;D

intermission

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2012, 07:02:12 PM »
Two sisters, one a little scatterbrained and one smart, inherit the family ranch and are soon threatened repossion by the bank. To make money, they decided to spend their last $600 to purchase a bull for breeding.
 
Upon leaving, the smart one tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
 
She arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides to buy it.  But it cost $599, no less.
   
After paying him, she went to the telegraph office and said, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister, telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.  I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
 
The telegraph operator explains that it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, she only had $1 left for one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she said, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
 
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
 
She explains, 'My sister's is a little scatterbrained. The word is big.
   
She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'
« Last Edit: April 27, 2012, 05:19:47 AM by intermission »

Dandiman

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2012, 12:05:32 PM »
LOL   :D  Oh ya!  come for da bull

Dandiman

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2012, 06:55:13 AM »
Knock, Knock.

Who's There?

Y Eye.

Y Eye Who?

Why I Never Go On a Cruise Ship,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amKBSPAWGxI

airmarmot

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2012, 11:52:20 AM »
Knock knock

Who's there?

Billy The Mute

Billy The Mute who?

...........................................

intermission

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Re: JOKE THREAD: Need a laugh? Let's post jokes and humor content here
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2012, 08:30:01 PM »
Dandiman replied: "LOL     Oh ya!  come for da bull"


Glad you liked it, dandi!  :P